Rugby Review is a new series debuting for The Dropkicks. Put simply, it's a way of following a team through the fans eyes. Are Crusaders fans really one-eyed? Have Highlanders fans lost all hope? You'll follow the team through 5 fans. I'm looking for someone to do the

Blues each week, so please leave a comment if you want to do this!

The Chiefs: By long-time friend of The Dropkicks, Richard Irvine

John Mitchell talks you through the Chiefs vs Western Force.

G'day. I'm John Mitchell. You may remember me from 'sitting next to Clive Woodward like a sack of wet sand' and 'I can't believe the All Black coach hasn't been sacked yet!'. That one came out in 2003. So the Chiefs played the Force on Saturday night; I have fond memories of Waikato and the Chiefs - I had hair then - so I want to see them do well. On the other hand, the Force are a pack of whinging little bitches, and I want to see their hearts ripped out, piled on the 22, then set on fire.

Just joking!

Luckily, the Chiefs came to the party and bitchslapped them. Good one. If those Aussies hadn't gone all Lord Of The Flies on me, they'd be the fucking Crusaders by now. I think the lesson in this match is "This is what happens when you fuck Mitch in the arse". For the Chiefs, who are three from three, I think the lesson is "Watch your back" - life plays some fucked up hands, and just when your career is going great, there are ALWAYS people out there wanting to stick a knife in your back. Always. Take it from Mitch, I know.

The Crusaders by Ti'i Paulo's 'special nutritionist' As predicted, it was a good week for the Crusaders. They played the Sharks, at home, on Friday night and I was much more pleased by their performance. The Crusaders had not been defeated by a South African Super Rugby team at home since 1996, and I was glad to see this remain.

The game was light-years better than last week’s game, against the Reds. There wasn’t anything overly spectacular about the game. It was just a good game of rugby. It was such a massive improvement, it was like watching a completely different team!

As I have left this review to the last minute, I’m just going to sum up the Crusaders' ROUND THREE

Richie, AKA God, is back.

Outstanding scrums.

Up at half time: Ten – Six.

Never would've known we lost so badly last week.

Dan Carter overtook Matt Burke on the all-time Super rugby scorer’s list. (Now 3rd)

Thirty five – Six: Final Score.

Hottie, Zac Guildford: Multiple tries. One intercept try.

Runaway ending. Two tries in 10minutes.

Epically annihilating tackles.

Exceptional crowd attendance.

I'm looking forward to much of the same in Round Four.

Hurricanes, by me

King Carlos came to town and he brought the Clever kid. 'Los didn't do a hell of a lot - and got a lot of sledging thrown his way from those in the crowd - and I'm not sure what people expected him to do anyway. Lining up outside it looked like there'd be an amazing crowd - it took us 20m to get in in the first place. But it wasn't. It was an ok crowd, but surely not much more than 16,000.

If you could look up the Hurricanes on unencyclopedia, this would be the match that accompanied it, with this blurb.

The Hurricanes are a team based in Wellington, New Zealand. They play their home games at the Biscuit Tin. The Hurricanes have historically been a team with a lot of promising talent, but often that talent has been squandered in favour of white line fever. This sports team simply refuses to learn the basics, opting instead for flashy, 50/50 ball play [which is more often than not 20/80].

The February 27, 2010 match against the Lions was the personification of this. The Lions were not fancied to win this game, as they have been shown to have a weak defence. The Hurricanes decided to exploit this by trying to set up 60m solo tries, instead of getting the team to work together to get 4 quick tries - securing a bonus point - and then resort to flashy football.

We're off to South Africa for three weeks, minus Conrad and Tamati this week, and the Pig for a season.

Oh, and can I say the Seal Slayer's try against the Lions was amazing and hilarious. Best bit of rugby satire I've ever seen.

The Highlanders, by Jimmy. 

This game is the first one this year that's highlighted what for me is the major deficiency of "Super" rugby. Waking up at 4am on a Sunday is hard. You might wonder why I was waking up at 4am? Well, try as I might I just couldn't find a replay of the game being shown at a reasonable hour on Sunday. There were replays of the Crusaders' game, which you may recall was played at NZ time, and replays of the Blues' game which finished well before midnight. So someone at Sky clearly doesn't think anyone wants to watch the Highlanders play at a normal time of the day.*

The scheduling of the kickoff in the afternoon can't have helped either, it would have made more sense to have a night game in Africa, which I think could have been 6:30am here in New Zealand. These crazy time zone differences are why I got really excited by the idea of changing Super rugby to being more of a Champions League type competition, which would help to limit the amount of time players have to spend miles away from home. That, or just ditching the Africans from the competition and playing with Pacific and Asian teams; though I suppose that would probably kill the presumably big earner of the Tri-Nations.

Anyway, all of that is by the by, because I haven't been asked to deliver a state of the Union, but rather a fan's perspective of Highlanders games, so I should probably crack into it. The Highlanders won!!! I don't think they won pretty, and maybe they were robbed of a bonus point, but bagging 4 points in Africa is a big achievement at any stage; even if the win is agains the Cheetahs who apparantely haven't won back to back since they returned to the comp.

I couldn't believe the investment the Highlanders were making in Hobbs when they have Robbie Robinson in the squad, but the guy has sure proven me wrong. He's put in solid performances in the first 3 rounds, and scored 4 tries to boot. I think the balance of the team with Shoemark at 12 (surely he's more natural there than at centre, what with his good kicking game?) and Lynn at 13 was great. As awesome as Jayden Hayward can be, I think he's a little too inconsistent at this level yet, and having a relative veteran like Shoemark outside Hobbs must surely be a calming influence on him.

However, I also liked the tactic of bringing Berquist on at the end to calm the tempo and keep the Cheetahs pushed back in their own half - that backline trio might be a good starting trio against some of the teams that can control their game better than the Cheetahs. Then you can bring Lynn on for Berquist and push Hobbs in one to up the tempo in the last 30 minutes.

Having praised the win, I did have some questions about the tactics the backs employed a lot of the night. It doesn't seem to me that the new rules make kicking possession away constantly a good idea. While Ben Smith had a great Air NZ Cup campaign last year, that hasn't yet translated into Super 14 form, so putting bombs up constantly basically means only Dagg is going to be able to get up in the air & compete for the ball. Dagg by the way, had a reasonably good game, especially with the added responsibility of having the goal kicking duties.

My only other comment on the backs, is that Jimmy Cowan had, by his standards, an average game. A couple of kicks went awry and he just wasn't his usual sharp and decisive self. Jimmy is awesome, and not just because he shares my name. I think its great how he shook off all of that (admittedly fairly self-inflicted) crap, and has really stood up and made the most of the opportunities he's had. Here's hoping he's back to his best next week, because the Highlanders need him at top form.

The forwards had solid games for the most part - I don't think they were being out-scrummed, but rather that the referee was allowing some fairly iffy tactics from the Cheetahs front row. The loose forwards were solid, and though Thompson looked a bit out of place at times at No 8, I like the additional pace that the trio had. Up against Smith & Broussow I think the really held their own. Its interesting how the effectiveness of Broussow has been nullified by the new rules - last year he might have earnt his team 10 penalties from his efforts at the breakdown, but now with the law being interpreted correctly (ok, differently) he had a quiet game.

Apart that is, from scoring the first of 3 tries to be sent to the TMO, and the one that I thought was the most obviously not a try. The ball hit the ground, but to my eyes at least he had clearly lost control of it prior to that. Smith's try I would have given the benefit of the doubt to, even though you couldn't actually see it hitting the ground - but the 'daylight' between ball and line for Thompson's disallowed try wasn't visible on my telly.

So, robbed of a bonus point, but 4 points in the bag in their first fixture in Africa. The Stormers should be a tougher prospect, but a winnable game - and if the improvements continue week to week the Bulls might be a competitive game. But coming up against a team that's had a nice break with the Bye week, I think im being overly optimistic there! Anyway, this is one pretty chuffed 'almost' fan!

* I'm willing to admit that i'm either blind or stupid and there may have been a replay that I just couldn't find when searching the Sky website. But to be fair, when I entered 'Highlanders' into their search box, only one result showed, and that was for a replay of a game in the future anyway. So, instead of a handy search feature I had to scroll manually through their fugly TV Guide thing, which is slow so I gave up after getting to Tuesday.

Rugby Review is a new series debuting for The Dropkicks. Put simply, it's a way of following a team through the fans eyes. Are Crusaders fans really one-eyed? Have Highlanders fans lost all hope? You'll follow the team through 5 fans.

The Chiefs: By long-time friend of The Dropkicks, Richard Irvine

Nobody's saying this is the future of Rugby. 137 points with 18 tries might save you the bother of fast forwarding the boring bits, and leave defensive purists reaching for their well worn 2000 Super 12 final VHS, but feck it, I don't care - I LIKE that every so often two teams in the right mood can produce a freak game. It's fun. This is only the second round, and if you can't mix it up and throw the ball around now, when are you going to?

My Chiefs, who lost their first two games last year and still made the final, have got their South African leg out of the way early, and won both matches. Richard Kahui is back, and Stephen Donald looks comfortable at the level that suits him best - many teams would love his experience and execution in their side. They won't be defending like this in May, I think they'll be better for this attacking hit out, and better because Sione Lauaki probably won't be wearing the captain's armband again. Of course, the main thing is games like this annoy Stephen Jones more than a long train trip in a carriage full of clowns. All of New Zealand can enjoy that.

The Crusaders: reviewed by Dan Carter's 'Special Masseuse'.

It was the one game of the year that really would’ve been better suited to the Comedy Channel. Yes, the Reds v Crusaders game played on Friday night. It was up there with the worst rugby games I have ever watched. 80, excruciating, minutes of non-stop shit rugby by the Crusaders. It was actually laughable.

As an avid Crusaders fan, I understand that every year they always start off slowly. But this game was something else. They were barely even worthy of being a Super Rugby Team. Yeah, I just said that.

With such an amazing record attached to the Crusaders I, along with the rest of the rugby world, expected more of the supreme team. 7-time Super Rugby Champions and they get beaten by the Reds. A team barely anyone remembers. It was shocking. You know it must have been really bad for me to admit that it. I was, for a moment, embarrassed to be supporting the team. However, even on a bad day I will remain a devoted supporter. They are marvellous.

We all know they are the greatest team of the competition but they way they played on Friday night was not even as good as a Second Division team. Too many basic errors, school boy errors. I can’t pin-point one word that sums up their performance but many words come to mind: horrendous, appalling, disastrous, error-strewn, unbearable. Basically it was the most hideous display of Crusaders’ rugby for a long time.

They played so well the week before that I gloated to people supporting other teams, mentioning that the Crusaders would continue on that momentous roll. It was the first game of the season and heeeeeello bonus point. It became apparent during round two that I had spoken too soon.

I’ll give credit where it is due: the Reds deserved to win. Simply put, they were the better team on the night. They absolutely pummelled the Crusaders, and I think it is what we needed. The Crusaders needed to be shown that even though they are the best they can’t get cocky and think they are unbeatable. They are a better side than the one that played on Friday, and we will get to see that they are this week. I have no doubt that we will see the Crusaders at their best this Friday. They are back home and will have wonderful supporters like myself there cheering them on. And...

Richie is back!!! He’s on the beach. He’s been away because of a clause in his NZRU contract, or something-or-other. Anyway, most important thing is that he is back! Along with being gorgeously good looking for the female viewers, he actually adds so much to the team. I know a team isn’t one man but as soon as he pops back in the mix everything changes. I think it is a little obvious I think Richie is God.

I believe psychics would be saying that round three will be a good one for the Crusaders.

Bring on Friday.

The Hurricanes: by yours truly

Honestly I don't think I can say anything about this game I won't say in the podcast. It was a game the 'Canes obviously came into treating as a practice run. Tamati's league-style play to set up Cory and David was outstanding, other than that it was a confidence-building game for the team against a schoolboy XV.

The Highlanders, by 'fan' Jimmy.

I should probably admit straight away that I'm not really a Highlanders fan. I mean, I do really like that they have a guy running round from time to time wielding a fricking claymore but, I live in Wellington and thus my primary allegiance is to the Hurricanes. The Highlanders are my second favourite team though, and in all games where they aren't playing the Hurricanes I'm rooting for the boys from the deep south. This essentially means that I'm constantly rooting for the underdog, because admit it- who really expects the Highlanders to win on a regular basis?

Knowing this helps to know why it is that I like the Highlanders. My second favourite NPC / - AirNZ Cup team has pretty much always been Southland. Perrenial strugglers that have come good and are now dominating their bigger Super rugby franchise player. Winning the log of wood was awesome and, I think anyway, just reward for an area that's been putting on the hard yards, doing the basics before attempting the flash. I want to see a team thats suffered finally turn the corner, I want to have the good time that Chiefs fans last year had - albeit with a happier ending.

The other reason I'm such a Highlanders fan is the Magpies. Hawke's Bay rugby supporters have a complex. Some describe it as a sense of entitlement, but it's really more one of desperation. Hawke's Bay fans really didn't cope with being in the 2nd Division. But what was really hard was getting so close to promotion and never actually making it. It doesn't take too many years before you start seeing rule changes as being deliberately designed to keep you out. And every player having success in another team would have been the key to being promoted.

These were dark and horrible times, and I should know - I grew up in the Hawke's Bay. Other than the All Blacks, when I was a kid, you wanted to be in the Magpies. Guys from my high-school played for them, hell my old Head Boy Michael Johnston is still running around the paddock. So, with the use of so many Hawke's Bay players and our coach, its only natural that I want to see the Highlanders do well. Because if there's anything a fan of Hawke's Bay rugby needs, its validation that we actually are ok, and really do deserve to be in the top flight.

What a game the Crusaders v Highlanders match was. Weirdly, whenever the Highlanders play the Crusaders I get a sense of confidence about the victory out of all proportion to reality. I actually expect them to win every time. And had a couple of calls gone the way of the Highlanders we might have seen a different result - particularly when viewed with the hindsight of knowing what the one-eyes were going to bring the next week against the Reds.

I have to apologise though, as despite being the pseudo-fan that I am, I didn't actually manage to catch much of the game vs the Blues. Instead I was drinking Tsingtao and having a great dinner at Longxiang. So I can't help but feel a little bit personally responsible for their loss to the Blues, especially because its the Blues who haven't been a great team in some time.

If only the Highlanders could bring the passion they have when they play the Crusaders to every game, things might be different for their fans. Even a sort of, but not really fan like myself.

I'm still looking for someone to do the Blues. Leave your nomination in the comments section if you're keen.

If you haven't seen it yet there's a video doing the rounds on the internet at present, the newest video in a long line of videos of fights on American public transport. Put simply a racial disagreement escalates, quickly.

The key moment in this that's attracted a lot of attention on 4chan and the like is the line 'bring da amberlamps'. In honour of this the Dropkicks is starting the Bring Da Amberlamps Hall of Fame [henceforth known as Amberlamps HOF]. Each time I see a big hit in the Super 14, I'll post it up as a nominee. At the end of the season, we get to vote for one inductee.

Without a doubt, the first-ever Amberlamps HOF nomination has to be Aaron Cruden.

In last week's Hurricanes/Blues game Cruden came off the bench in place of Willie Ripia. I've said in the past that I'm a bit wary of putting too much faith in Wellington's new wunderkid first-five, after the amount of times this faith has been unrewarded in the past. His first touch of the ball didn't do a lot to change my mind either:

[Thanks to Rugbydump for the clip]

For the record, Cruden went great against the Force. And I think the Hurricanes have a great idea, handing Weepu the kicking duties. It's clear they want Aaron to focus on his ground game - something the 'Canes have lacked in a 10 - before getting him hunting down Carter's point scoring record.

You may delay, but time will not - Benjamin Franklin.

You may wonder how this applies to this post. It's pretty simple really: I began drafting this piece on the 5th of January. I'm now rushing through to publish it, before the Hurricanes v Blues match kicks off tonight. Over a month, and I've still not got it done. And the annoying thing is is that I had predicted the injuries to Ali Williams and Sione Lauaki. Yes, you caught me, I'm Robbie Deans.

Oh hush in the corner with your protestations that it's cricket season. NZ Cricket have done all they can to disprove that myth - First by making sure the BLACKCAPS played an international match in every month of 2009 except July, and then by not playing a single game over the summer holiday period.

The Super 14's a month away and the players and I are getting excited for it. While it's hard to predict what'll happen in a season [The Chiefs in the semis and final? How did that happen?] I'm giving it a shot.

Blues:
Having signed Alby Mathewson and Stephen Brett they'll struggle to get a crowd along to their 7.35pm games on Friday, until the Auckland City Council makes it illegal for cafes to be open. The signing of Brett can go two ways:
In the first scenario, Brett will be an astute kicker, as he has been over the past three seasons and Grant Fox will consider himself qualified to speak up about a player who is playing a different style of game to the rugby union he grew up with.. In the second, Brett will struggle to adjust to the more open, flowing style of Blues rugby and Grant Fox will consider himself qualified to speak up about a player who is playing a different style of game to the rugby union he grew up with.
Isaia Toeava, Josevata Rokcoko and Rene Ranger will have every single mistake they make jumped upon, while players who actually don't do much in their positions, like Paul Williams, escape the evil eye.

Excited about:
The prospective backline of Mathewson, Brett, McAlister, Toeava and Stanley.

Not looking forward to:
The performance of the Blues being used to gauge the 'health' of New Zealand rugby. Ali Williams getting injured and releasing another book, detailing how he's gonna quit the game and become a coach instead.

Brumbies: ['Cause they're the only Aussie team worth giving a damn about]
The return of prodigal son Matt Giteau to the capital territory will give the Brumbies an anchor in the backline. He'll also bring back something from the West Coast that the Brumbies have been lacking in the past few seasons - style. No, not the hair gel kind, though him and Adam A-s-h-l-e-y-C-o-o-p-e-r will go through their share, and Stirling Mortlock's, but an ability to use the ball that the Brumbies' rumbling forward pack consistently dishes up.

Excited about:
Seeing what the best Australian side [on paper] can dish up in the new season.

Not looking forward to:
Stirling Mortlock suffering another serious injury, only this time deciding to retire.

Chiefs:
All through the off-season I've pondered something. Were the Chiefs of '09 really that good? Sure, the Bulls would have beaten any S4 team that day [and probably a few tier-1 national teams, let's be honest] but looking back on the Chiefs' season, I can't really remember anything standout. Beating the 'Canes twice was a good effort, but take away that try-fest against the Blues and what was there? Injuries. Injuries, injuries, injuries. The Chiefs have been plauged with them over the past few years, and always to key players. How Richard Kahui bounces back from his shoulder injury will be a key focus for the Chiefs - but I suspect he'll be fine, so all you girls can lower your heart rate now - and which do they use at first-five, Donald or Delany? And if you do the 'just chuck one at 2nd-five' option favoured by many pundits, what do you do with Sweeney, Willison and Callum Bruce? Not to mention that they have Sivivatu, Masaga, Muliaina and one of my favourite underdogs, Tim Nanai-Williams to choose from in the back three. TN-W can play at FB while Mils has his rest period at the start, but after that? It almost seems like the Chiefs administration is banking on some injuries...

Excited about:
To be honest, not much on field. I'm excited about this though, and hoping it leads to some good stats I can use. Also, seeing Sione Lauaki get injured is always a positive for NZ rugby. The quality of the Chiefs play seems to improve when he's out.

Not looking forward to:
The fact the Chiefs have six loose fowards... There'll be some frustration while lineups are sorted out no doubt.

Crusaders:
There's something different about rugby in the flatlands. You can have an off year, with the media and public jumping down your throat and writing you off because you've got a 'rookie' coach and your best player's injured, but still 4th. Is that really a bad year? There wasn't too much impressive about the Crusaders last season, they just trucked along and bored the opposition to death with their stiff defence. This year though they've got some top attacking talent - Robbie Fruean is in for Casey Laulalalalala, and along with Zac Guildford he's flying down from Wellington to play with Colin Slade in his sandpit - and Dan Carter is back on top of his game. And then you look at the forward pack - that same forward pack that gets you in shit for making mistakes, and causes you to lose the game, even though you've held the ball for twice as long as them. And have done this for about three years. Same shit, different year really.

Excited about:
Diva Dan doin' his thang. Nobody makes line breaks look so beautiful. Oh, and seeing them without that shitty sword thing on their jersey.

Not looking forward to:
Getting my hopes up for the 'Canes, only to have the Crusaders beat us in the semis or final again.

Highlanders:
Oh, the whipping boys of the naysayers, the Highlanders manage to operate without too much scrutiny. They've actually got a decent team, similar to the Blues really. But who's getting more exposure? Yeah, that's right, the fucking Aucklanders. How do you piss off a bunch of guys from the South? Show them that a bunch of Aucklanders think they're better than them. Yeah, Peter Russell, GTFO, I just took your job.
I actually think the Highlanders will have a great season if they can stay injury free. They should beat the Aussie teams - with the exception of the Brumbies maybe - and South Africans. They've had dominance over the Crusaders, and Hurricanes [bar the score at the final whistle] for the past two seasons. They just need to stop running out of steam in the final quarter really.

Excited about:
The dark-horse chances of this Motley Crue from Southland, Otago, Hawke's Bay and Manawatu making the post-season.

Not looking forward to:
The naysayers saying the Highlanders are shit and should be scrapped from the competition.

Hurricanes:
Alphabetical order [and myself] have saved the best for last. We made the finals once, you know. But my memory of that match is kinda foggy. The stories are all set in place to make 2010 the Hurricanes' year. 'Win one for Coop!' the headlines will scream. Aaron Cruden is central to our title hopes this year. Not to put too much pressure on the boy, but it's been fucking yonks since we've had a 1st-5 who can run the ball and kick it. Combine him with the All Black studded backline [Former AB Piri Weepu, and last year's team members Conrad Smith, Ma'a Nonu, Tamati Ellison, Hosea Gear and Cory Jane] and he should have a decent season. If he comes right, he'll have a championship winning season. For now, he's just gotta focus on taking the top spot on the team from Willie Ripia.

Excited about:
Seeing Cory Jane tweet from the field in the game against the Cheetahs.

Not looking forward to:
Failure to live up to my expectations. They're not unrealistic, are they?

The Super 14 is just around the corner and I thought before I did a preview of the season I should talk about the pre-season. That's when I came across something really confusing in terms of where one of the teams is playing. No, it's not the Hurricanes playing in the shadow of the HQ of their sponsor's product, though I do think they should have played a game in Napier [the other two games are at Porirua Park and Rotorua].

What raised my eyebrows was one of the Highlanders fixtures. Their first game is fine - against the Chiefs in Dunedin. It's their second one. The team is travelling to Suva to face a Fiji President's XV. I've always thought that sport and politics should not mix, but long ago came to the realisation that no matter what happens, they are intertwined.

In case you don't know the current political background in Fiji, here's a quick rundown: In 2006, Commodore Frank Bainimarama led the Fijian army in a bloodless coup against the government of the time, led by then-Prime Minister Laisenia Qarase. The reason he gave for this was his general unrest with plans by the government to introduce a bill reviewing the legality of the 2000 coup attempt led by George Speight. Since then, Bainimarama has refused the demands of New Zealand and Australia, and the Commonwealth, to return Fiji to a democracy. As a result, Fiji was last year ejected from the Pacific Nations Forum and has been suspended from the Commonwealth. Bainimarama has also ejected people from Fiji - the NZ and Australian High Commissioners, as NZ and Australian journalists including Sia Aston [TV3] and Barbara Dreaver [TVNZ]. Early last year he took control of the local media, employing censors in every newsroom.

New Zealand has steadfastly refused to deal with members of the Fijian regime. Barring compassionate reasons, New Zealand's stance on allowing members of the regime, or people associated with it, to travel here is this: No. We also do not issue temporary work permits to seasonal workers from Fiji, A few years ago it appeared the NZ government would not allow the Fijian Sevens team to participate in Wellington, but instead the following was added to the regulations for New Zealand's relations with Fiji, stating an exception will be made in these circumstances:

People are not subject to the ban if they will be participating in a regional or international tournament which requires travel to New Zealand and the New Zealand host sporting body does not have control over the selection of the participants. The ban does not apply to professional sportspeople playing as individuals.

.

This is where it gets confusing. In 2007, the All Whites were due to play the Fijian national team as part of their qualification campaign for the 2010 FIFA World Cup as their goalkeeper was related to a regime member, but the team was allowed to travel to Fiji to play the return leg. The NZ match was eventually played in Samoa. The goalkeeper played both matches. Undoubtedly, this would fall under the exception - that NZ does not have control over the selection. But, the Pacific Nations Cup has been going on the past two seasons with Fijian, New Zealand and Australian involvement and nothing came of rumours that then Foreign Minister Winston Peters was looking at a blanket ban. I don't have the time or resources to look into every single person in the Fijian rugby team which plays in that competition, and I'm sure that the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade does an outstanding job of looking into everybody, but doesn't this send a confusing message?

Both tournaments are, of course, sanctioned by the IRB. So again, New Zealand won't ban the teams, even if Bainimarama himself was lining up at halfback. We have banned a Fijian side before though, although I can't remember why.

Where this match differs though is the team to play the Highlanders. The President's XV. Fiji's former president was Joseph Iloilo, who retired late last year. Iloilo was called a 'puppet' by academic Brij Lal, for failing to opposed the military leadership. His replacement appointed by the same regime NZ is refusing to deal with - is Epeli Nailatikau, who was previously the military government's Minister of Defence. So from the very start, the Fijian government's hands are all over this game. Even if the players are picked from Ireland, the regime is still involved. Personally, I think this is unacceptable.

The situation in Fiji appears to be quickly deteriorating, with the Methodist Church accusing the regime of spying on them and the Citizens' Constitutional Forum claiming that the interim government has been cutting pension payments to people who criticise their tenure. This is not the first time they've cracked down on critics - last year they arrested and detained the head of the Fijian Law Society, Dorsami Naidu for speaking harshly about the leaders and 'undermining' the regime. Three magistrates at the Information Ministry were recently sacked, and when asked why, Permanent Secretary for Information Lieutenant Colonel Neumi Leweni had this to say:

It is not for anyone to explain the reasons why. It’s just that it’s been signed by the president and it’s been put to effect that their services are no longer required.

Sounds an awful lot like 'don't question, just do as you're told' right?

I struggle to see how on earth this game was approved - did it simply slip through the cracks? It's not part of an officially sanctioned tournament, it's not a regular fixture and it's not something that should have even been thought up in the first place. I've got nothing against the Highlanders, but no way should they play this game. Not at all. It's effectively condoning the actions of the president, Bainimarama, and all their mates after the government has worked to put across a message that we will not tolerate the political situation in Fiji. It's saying 'hey, we know you're treating your people poorly, but we don't care, we just want to play rugby'. I wholeheartedly object to this match, and want the Highlanders to change their plans.

I got this book for Christmas from a family member who knows I'm into sport, but not really much else. The intention was there, so that's what matters.

Once the morning activities were done, I sat down to read this before lunch. And finished it before lunch. I'm a quick reader at the best of times, but I got through this in about an hour and a half.

Why? Because it's written like someone without a single inkling of literary style. I've not read one of James Griffins books before - nor do I know if he has any - but holy crap this was terrible to read. Everything was written really large like, with lots of pictures, because clearly everyone who reads this is a rugby 'boofhead' [as Ali refers to everyone not on his agenda] and can't read little words. On top of this, there's this annoying thing where every page or two the writing will split and there'll be one of those enlarged quotes like you see in the newspaper... Except in this book, that's part of the writing. It's fucked. It's annoying. It's horrid.

It was almost enough, at one point, to make me give up. But I didn't, because I was spurred on by the promise of something good. And there are gems in here - like the story about getting injured playing touch on Eden Park in the nude, the day before the All Blacks were selected and Steve Hansen refusing to take him unless he fessed up. Or when 'ABC and ABD' came to visit him in hospital. Or flying RC planes and helicopters with noted aviator Richie McCaw. At one stage, Dan Carter is described in a way which now has me thinking of him as a modern-day Dennis the Menace [which he totally would be]. The best highlight for me was the revisiting of that try Doug Howlett scored against the Wallabies. You know, the one where Ali put up that gracious, precise floater and Howlett literally just caught it and fell over to score the try. God that was a beauty.

But there wasn't enough. Repeating a story about Keith Robinson meeting the Queen that was published in the media at the time wasn't enough. Not naming players in stories wasn't enough.

And as well as the quote style, I got more and more fucked off with the practice of starting a story and ending it with 'but that's a story for another time'. No it's fucking not. I got this book for free, but other people have paid for it. They haven't paid for you to not tell stories.

I liked Ali before this, as a player and a personality. I still like him as a player, no matter what Hadyn's stats suggest about his fluctuating workrate, and I think he's been remarkably unlucky with his injuries. But next time you release a book, please either keep the style informal, like it is here, and only have 'funny' anecdotes [spoiler alert: 90% of the time in this book, the 'funny' stories relate to him being pissed] or the more insular, personal style like in the bits talking about the 2007 RWC loss or the feud with David Nucifora. Not both. Because as it stands now, this book is annoying in three different ways and I sure as hell won't recommend anyone buy it. I'd loan it to friends who are interested, but I'd warn people against buying it.

I can't count the number of times I've engaged in a rigorous debate with a rugby fan about our respective national teams, only to be rebutted [usually by English fans it seems] with the outrageous claim that the All Blacks are only as strong as they are because they 'steal' players from the Pacific Islands and if we only used players from our own country, we'd be, well, fucked.

Take a guess how many players in the All Blacks end-of-year tour squad were not born in New Zealand. If your guess was not four, you're wrong. Jerome Kaino was born in American Samoa, Junior Malili Muliaina is from Western Samoa, Rodney So'oialo is from Samoa and Sitiveni Sivivatu is, of course, a Fijian.

Of the four, Mils moved here when he was two years old, Sivi when he was 17 and it is unclear about Kaino or So'oialo, but all four attended a New Zealand high school. Yes, there is the whole 'scholarship' facade in schools, but that same process is used around the world in all sports. Most of the 'island' players in the All Blacks were born here and raised here. They're ours.

To say that NZ has some form of insidious scheme in place to identify talent and kidnap shows that there is a real lack of understanding about the way our country's citizenship laws have been set in the past, and political problems which have faced it. It also suggests that the NZRU have some form of Delorean time-machine which they use to travel back 20 years and convince people to move to NZ before they have a child, because they know that that kid will be good.

Lets take Neemia Tialata for an example. Tialata was born in Upper Hutt, before his parents returned to Samoa. They came back to New Zealand when he was five. Being born here, he was an NZ citizen. But wait. Neemia was born in 1982. If his parents were born residing in NZ before 1 January 1949, they would be NZ citizens, and he would receive this title by the rule of descent. There's about four different ways he would be an NZ citizen [and so would the other 'islanders']. Read them here.

These people, when told this, will try and switch it back on you. 'The All Blacks aren't the only team doing it' or 'what about in the Super 14 then?' they'll say.

So let's look at that. In the Super 14 there are only 14 players from another country playing for a franchise, whose birthplaces I can solidly identify. That's not even enough to make a team! These are:

Blues: Jerome Kaino [American Samoa], Benson Stanley [Australia], Josevata Rokocoko [Fiji], Isaia Toeava and George Pisi [Samoa]
Chiefs: Sione Lauaki [Tonga], Sitiveni Sivivatu [Fiji] Mils Muliaina [Samoa]
Hurricanes: John Schwalger [Western Samoa], Rodney So'oialo and David Smith [Samoa]
Crusaders: Ben Franks [Australia]
Highlanders: Joe Tuineau [Fiji] and Fetu'u Vainikolo [Tonga]

So what's going on then? David Campese seems adamant in this article that the big nations are plundering the stocks of Pacific Island countries [please, suppress your laughter at the irony of him using a picture of Nicky Little, who was born in Tokoroa, in that article].

In fact, because fair's fair, I took a look at all the tier-one teams and the Pacific tier-two sides. Of the Pacific teams Samoa has the highest number of foreign-born players. 10 of their squad were born overseas - all of them in New Zealand (Junior Polu, Fa'atonu Fili, Seilala Mapusua, Gavin Williams, Cencus Johnston, Justin Va'a, Filipo Levi, Joe Tekori, Kane Thompson and Jonny Faamatuainu). I couldn't confirm the numbers for Tonga because a. the Tonga RFU site is still down [has been for at least a year now] and there was too little information on most of them - but it looked like the majority were from Tonga, and Fiji has two Kiwis; the aforementioned Nicky Little, and Deacon Manu.

When I turned my eyes to the tier-one teams, there were a few surprises waiting for me. I knew Dumpling was from Canada, but didn't know about O'Gara's heritage. I think it's cool that Argentina's only 'import' hails from Belgium. The list of all the nations I haven't discussed in here is at the bottom of this article.

As I've written this piece though, I've started to wonder something. It's really easy to look at a country and say 'you've got a lot of island boys in your side, you steal them'. But even in the case of Sivivatu, who came here when he was 17, I think it's more a case of a player taking advantage of a side than the side taking advantage of them. Think about it. The training staff and programmes available within NZ are of a higher quality than those in the Pacific Islands. The fact we have rugby in two windows which can allow those players to compete in their own club/domestic competition if they so choose is another. Would Ma'a Nonu be as good as he is now if he had lived, played and trained in Samoa all his life? Would Josevata Rokocoko? And by the same token, would Pierre Hola be a great All Black if he'd moved to New Zealand if he was a kid?

PS: When you read Campese's piece, please let me know what you think. I've written this all about union, because I can't find full stats for Sevens. It's hard to find the significant main point in his piece. He begins speaking about Sevens, then switches to discussing Union with the RWC, then blabs on about 'clubs' not releasing players without saying which, moves on to complaining about the rules in Sevens, then he's going on about rucking... What? It's all over the fucking place.

PPS: I loved this pearler of a quote:

Sevens used to be full of guile and skill but now it’s played according to XVs rules with teams kicking for touch and taking the ball into contact.

Campo, I've watched both the Dubai and George Sevens over the past fortnight and the kicking I've seen has either been an attacking effort, or an attempt to waste time when the team kicking is ahead with not much time to go.

England: Matt Banahan [Jersey], Ayoola Erinle [Nigeria], Simon Shaw [Kenya], Steffon Armitage [Trinidad], Paul Doran-Jones [Ireland], Dylan Hartley [New Zealand]

Australia: David Pocock [Zimbabwe], Stephen Moore [Saudi Arabia], Matt Dunning [Canada], Dean Mumm, Digby Ioane and Quade Cooper [New Zealand], Will Genia [Papua New Guinea]

France: Thierry Dusautoir [Côte d'Ivoire], Fulgence Ouedraogo [Burkina Faso]

South Africa: Tendai Mtawarira [Zimbabwe]

Wales: Luke Charteris and Tom Shanklin [England]

Scotland: Ben Cairns, Jim Thompson, Hugo Southwell [England], Thom Evans [Zimbabwe], John Barclay and Graeme Morrison [Hong Kong], Nathan Hines [Australia]

Italy: Luke McLean and Craig Gower [Australia], Carlo Del Fava [South Africa] Josh Sole and Kaine Robertson [New Zealand], Sergio Parisse, Matías Agüero and Gonzalo Canale [Argentina], Manoa Vosawai [Fiji]

Ireland: Ronan O'Gara [USA], Jamie Heaslip [Israel], Tom Court [Australia]

Argentina: Esteban Lozada [Belgium]

After the weekend's loss to the Barbarians all the talk about the All Blacks has turned to 'depth' and whether they have any. Coach Graham Henry has said that rotation is necessary, like it or not - I actually think people have a problem with the 6 month rest side of the rest and rotation policy, not rotation itself, but I could be wrong.

I don't think there's much to say about the loss because it was not a team we've seen play before, barring the stop-start affair against the Italians and even then the changing of the halfback and first-five is significant enough to alter the backline to the point where moves ebb and flow. I would like to know what happened to Stephen Donald to have people put his intercepted pass down to wooziness, because I've seen that move twice before this season - once against Wales, where Jimmy Cowan was the culprit and once against France where Luke McAlister threw it - and it's not come off. It's a simple M2, where the passer will follow up and offer a wrap option, but it doesn't often work across vast distances. When it does it's fantastic because the defence have to cover another attacker with one fewer player, but is risk > reward?

By now you've seen the All Blacks' win over France, or at least heard about it from someone who saw it. You know the scoreline, 39-12. You've watched the All Blacks' attack absolutely dismantle the French defense. You've had described to you the scrums, which started off horribly and turned into an even contest. You heard about the rucks and the brilliance of Richie McCaw and Kieran Read in that area. But you've paid most attention to Sivivatu, Mils and Jane, who were in blazing form.

That was the difference between this test and all the others I think. The forwards were not as dominant as they have been in past tests, particularly against Australia, Cowan was his usual exceptional self, Carter ran as well as always [when he did], Nonu was his normal rhinoceros persona charging at the line.

But when a deep kick was fielded, it was returned by that player. It wasn't kicked back with a midfield bomb, nor was it spread across the field [a tactic which doesn't work anymore].

Sivi, Mils and Jane backed themselves. And it paid off. You could see their confidence lift [not that it was lacking] as each return reaped more and more reward. Look at Mils try where Sivi faked a kick to draw the defender! The three of them all scored tries in the game, the first time this has happened against a tier-one side since 2003's Rugby World Cup match against France [Mils, Rokocoko and Howlett got a try apiece. For the historians among us, the back three have scored against tier-two nations twice between now and then - Rokocoko, Evans and Sivi against Romania at the 2007 RWC and in 2005, Sivi, Mils and Howlett each grabbed a 5-pointer against Fiji.]

The thing which got to me though was in the final 10 minutes. France would receive a full-arm penalty within our half and take the kick at goal. Why? You'd broken our line throughout the game, only to have stoic defense hold you out from. You'd kept the ball in hand and barely played the territory game.

The answer is obvious, of course. They gave up. Conrad Smith put the final nail in the coffin and the French knew they didn't have a chance. But still - would it not have been good to be the team that does what no team has done for two years [not just under Wayne Smith] and score a try against the ABs? If you don't ask questions of them, you'll never make them crack.

As for Smith, he and Donnelly were my MVP picks for this match. Sure, you had everyone I've already mentioned but Smith's distribution and option-taking were perfect and as Tracey Nelson's stats show, he was a beast on defense. Donnelly I pick because he was consistent. If he wasn't in the first three to the breakdown, he was with the next couple. He had a few useful touches of the ball and was great at protecting it.

Highlights thanks to RugbyDump:

Last year Kieran Read became an All Black. This year, he became a starting All Black. I was critical of his original selection and his early performances. I didn't see the merits of him, I didn't understand his role. Today, I am here to apologise.

I didn't really document these misgivings, except in a few comments on Hadyn's Public Address posts but I feel it is only right that I admit to my mistakes. Early on, I nicknamed him 'The Invisible Man' because I did not see him do anything beneficial for the team. Now I realise that this is because I wasn't looking properly.

I am used to an All Blacks team which uses its Number 8 as a battering ram. A traditional 8, someone who picks up the ball and just runs, aiming to use their physical presence to break through the line - Rodney So'oialo and Sione Lauaki were these players and the selection and use of Jerome Kaino appeared to be continuing this. Then along came a speedster. What was going on?

He was no Pierre Spies. So what was his role? He would occasionally get the ball, but isolate himself. He'd be invisible at the ruck. So how was he still in the side? Halfway through the Tri-Nations I started to wisen up. The reason I was having such misgivings was not because Read was a poor player, but because I was being so one-eyed, so closed to new ideas, that I wasn't seeing it. Read is a great player in his own merit.

Where I fell apart was comparing him to those before him - I should have been comparing him to the flankers, because essentially he is Richie McCaw V2.0. He's a fantastic fetcher and a great runner both on and off the ball. He adds an element the All Blacks were lacking with Lauaki - a threat from the scrum who can run as a forward or link with the backs.

I'm still going to continue to call him The Invisible Man - but only because he's so good at what he does that you barely notice him. Which is a good thing - you've converted me, that's for sure.