Righto, like it or lump it rugby season is again just around the corner. Which means that the Tri-Nations and Bledisloe Cup games are also on their way. So this year, the year before the World Cup, lets get fucking fired up.

There are some corners of the rugby community which seem to find it acceptable to root for Australia - or that's what talkback would lead you to believe. There are others who, when the All Blacks lose, want to get Deans back over.

Unacceptable.

He works for the enemy. Would your grandfather, you know, the guy who constantly says

rugby is for faggots and pussies now they've gotten rid of rucking and you can't tackle 'round the neck... And did you see they're wearing fucking makeup now?

accept this? No fucking way. When Sir Brian Lochore lost to Alan Jones do you think gramps would've accepted that loss to a worthy opposition? Or would he have jumped on Lochore saying that he selected the worst All Black team ever, and he lacks vision? Fuck no. He'd have been baying for Green and Gold blood. So lets get that back.

Deans isn't a New Zealander now. He knows the words to their anthem. He doesn't sing the 'Waltzing Matilda, who bloody killed her, lying on the grass with a dagger up her arse' version.

He was a Cavalier. He didn't give a shit about South Africa. And he doesn't like heartland rugby - you better believe it. It's a good thing he's gone, or you bet your ass the ANZC would just be Auckland, Wellington and Canterbury. Here's proof.

Counties-Manukau had a chance to win the Ranfurly Shield from the evil vice-grip of the Canterbury juggernaut. They were ahead, 15-12. Deans just had to nail this impossible shot to level the scores and give the CM Steelers a 'what up'.

So lets get some intensity to this rivalry before the World Cup shall we?

Last year Kieran Read became an All Black. This year, he became a starting All Black. I was critical of his original selection and his early performances. I didn't see the merits of him, I didn't understand his role. Today, I am here to apologise.

I didn't really document these misgivings, except in a few comments on Hadyn's Public Address posts but I feel it is only right that I admit to my mistakes. Early on, I nicknamed him 'The Invisible Man' because I did not see him do anything beneficial for the team. Now I realise that this is because I wasn't looking properly.

I am used to an All Blacks team which uses its Number 8 as a battering ram. A traditional 8, someone who picks up the ball and just runs, aiming to use their physical presence to break through the line - Rodney So'oialo and Sione Lauaki were these players and the selection and use of Jerome Kaino appeared to be continuing this. Then along came a speedster. What was going on?

He was no Pierre Spies. So what was his role? He would occasionally get the ball, but isolate himself. He'd be invisible at the ruck. So how was he still in the side? Halfway through the Tri-Nations I started to wisen up. The reason I was having such misgivings was not because Read was a poor player, but because I was being so one-eyed, so closed to new ideas, that I wasn't seeing it. Read is a great player in his own merit.

Where I fell apart was comparing him to those before him - I should have been comparing him to the flankers, because essentially he is Richie McCaw V2.0. He's a fantastic fetcher and a great runner both on and off the ball. He adds an element the All Blacks were lacking with Lauaki - a threat from the scrum who can run as a forward or link with the backs.

I'm still going to continue to call him The Invisible Man - but only because he's so good at what he does that you barely notice him. Which is a good thing - you've converted me, that's for sure.

There's a pretty big emerging story coming out of Europe at the moment. It seems that the northern subsidiary of Canterbury of New Zealand has spread itself too thin [I always had the same problem when I played Risk] and has collapsed in the current economic climate.

As a result they've pulled sponsorship of all of their European clubs. These are;

 Rugby Union:

• Ireland
• Scotland
• Cardiff Blues
• Newport Gwent Dragons
• Leinster
• London Wasps
• Esher
• Exeter Chiefs
• Bayonne
• Castres
• Clermont
• Dax
• Perpignan

Rugby League:

• Warrington Wolves

Football:

• Portsmouth
• Preston North End
• Mansfield Town
• Farnborough
• Harrogate Town
• Deportivo La Coruña
• Lille
• Motherwell

Cricket:

• Yorkshire County Cricket Club
• Hampshire County Cricket Club

We're being assured that Canterbury's southern hemisphere branches are fine, but given Line 7's recent collapse [they were related to CCC through their CEO Ross Munro, who was a shareholder in Canterbury] and the Global Financial Crisis what guarantees can be made, really?

Let's hope Aussie and South Africa don't have to play the Tri Nations naked, especially given that Canterbury's South African division has already had well-documented troubles this year... I don't think I could stand the sight of James Horwill doing the naked Dunedin thing.

We often makes jokes at our the expense of our southern brethren. With their funny accents and occasional inbreeding, but quite frankly, when they offer the joke up on a plate like this, it's just not as much fun.

 

Yes that is 2000 mental Cantabrians at a charity event to farewell Robbie Deans. I think those masks accurately capture his one-dimensional character and empty soulless eyes.

Ok, I'll stop being mean. He's the greatest Super 14 coach ever, and we wish him no luck what-so-ever in his new role.

The Canterbury Tactix

FAQs

The fucking what?!

Um, Tactix. You know, like Tactics but with an 'x'.

Is that the worst name you could think of, or did you do serious market research to come up with a stinker like that? Was it because you hate your fans?

...

Ok, I'm sorry, let's get back to real questions. So why will you win?

An experienced line up of veteran players and strong group of up and coming youngsters. We think we will provide some exciting games.

 

So why might you lose? Will it be because of your shitty name? Seriously what was wrong with The Flames, that was pretty good.

...

Sorry, sorry. It's just...I'm mean with an 'x'! Even with the 'cs' it's better! I'm mean don't you remember the Kingz?

Anyway what should I wear to the games?

Red and black obviously. We may have a new name but we're Canterbury through and through.

So I can wear my old Flames stuff and maybe start up a "Go Flames" chant?

You are really bitter aren't you

 

The Tactix first game is against the Northern Mystics in Auckland on Sunday, April 6.

The Dropkicks look back at the Air NZ Cup semi-finals, and ponder just who will take out the honours in the Wellington v. Auckland final. Athlete and Dick of the Week, and the last chance to enter our World Cup Competition.

Download Episode 39 - Air NZ Cup Semi-Final review | Final preview

Subscribe to the Dropkicks Podcast (iTunes users click here).

We here at the Dropkicks have been defending Rico Gear for some time. We still rail against his omission from the All Blacks World Cup Squad. However, Rico's latest move may have gone too far.

Gear has negotiated himself out of the province that allowed him to play for the Crusaders in the Super 12, Tasman. When Canterbury signed Kevin Senio from Bay of Plenty in 2005 they used up their quota of All Black transfers, so Gear moved to the Tasman Union (then Nelson Bays).

But since joining Tasman, Gear played only four matches for Nelson Bays in 2005 and three for Tasman last year. And now Tasman have 'loaned' him to Canterbury for the rest of the Air New Zealand Cup.

Gear's excuse for wanting to play for Canterbury is "first and foremost I wanted to stay with my young family; it just makes life a lot easier. We bought a home in Christchurch which is just 150m away from the Canterbury training ground. I was just keen to be near my home" Gear said.

This naturally begs the question: why didn't you buy a house closer to your home ground rather than a hefty commute away? The answer is of course that Gear never had any intention to play for the province that was investing time, money coaching experience and salary cap-space in him.

Moreover at the end of this year Gear is heading to England to play for Worcester. How much closer is England to his house in Christchurch?

And what does Tasman get in return? A dirty great big kick in the bollocks that's what! Tasman will receive nothing in return for, what is in every other professional sport, called a 'trade'. Trade implies both parties get something, in this case Canterbury get an All Black quality player with the versatility to play wing and centre-cover, while Tasman got the aforementioned kick in the dolallies and a bit of salary cap space (that they will spend on...?).

Quite frankly this is the most selfish thing I have seen a player do in recent years. Gear packed a sad when he wanted to leave North Harbour, he grumbled for two seasons in Tasman/Nelson Bays and now he has held his breath and stamped his feet to worm his way out of a contract (a freaking contract!) to play for the team he likes best.

Rico you have just nominated yourself for Dick of the Week.