Last night I got my first "real" journalism gig: covering the Pulse (Wellington's ANZ Championship netball team).

I had my laptop, but I was the only journalist there without pen and a notebook, BUT I was the only one who was twittering!

I'm still writing up my account of the game (for Public Address) but until then here are my realtime thoughts on the game (you need to read them in reverse order).

Back in April we noted that there seemed to be a lot of "Thunderbirds are go" headlines for the Adelaide Thunderbirds (of the ANZ Cup).

Well it's been almost three months and the Thunderbirds will meet the Magic in the playoffs. Three months? No one will care if we use the same pun-headline, will they?

Thunderbirds are go for Magic clash [Stuff]

ps. yes in that photo they are about to smash heads together.

The Bay of Plenty/Waikato Magic are finally showing their skills. Having recovered from a terrible team-wide illness in the early weeks of the competition the Magic have stormed back and look like the contenders they are supposed to be. Just check out this photo:

Not only is Joelene Henry showing an alluring amount of leg, she's floating the ball above her fucking hand!

As you may know, the Dropkicks have a (hypocritical) hatred of poor puns in the media. Which is why I grimaced when I saw:

Thunderbirds were go against Steel

The reason for the grimace being that this is the fourth round of the ANZ Championship and we've had the following headlines for the Thunderbirds:

• Thunderbirds are go at home (a lead in to this weekend)
• Thunderbirds go as Fever fail to rise (a double entendre, so to speak, from Week 3)
• And yes, we used it too.

There were more on both TV and other media agencies but I couldn't be bothered looking.

Just quietly the Thunderbirds are 3-1 and have put away the Vixens and the Steel (losing to the Magic though).

The Melbourne Vixens

FAQs 

The Vixens, heh, so you're foxy ladies?

Listen pal, we're not putting up with your, or anybody else's shit so quit the sexist leering crap right now.

Um, but even the banner on your site says "alluring".

It also says "Elite", "Competitive" and "Victorious", so you better listen up chump when we say that we'll take all the other teams to the fucking cleaners!

­ 

Ah...

You were gonna ask why we will win

That's right, so why...

Have you seen this picture of Sharelle McMahon. She'll fuck you up! No to mention the fact that all of our squad are international level players and that we've been named tournament favourites!

Well, why might you lo...

I suggest you don't finish that sentence.

The Vixens opened up the competition with a clinic over the Central Pulse (except for the third quarter).

Despite thinking we could make it, the last two teams in the ANZ Champs are being previewed AFTER the start of the competition. Doh!

The Adelaide Thunderbirds

FAQs

Thunderbirds are go?

Actually we're based our name loosely on the Adelaide Power aussie rules team.

It also means you're the third Australian team to be named after a bird, while one of the teams is named after a fox (renowned eater of birds), do you think that was a mistake?

It's just a name dude.

Yeah good point. But will you perhaps have nicknames like "Virgil" and "Gordon"?

Well we could call Natalie von Bertouch, "Brains", I suppose.

Excellent, that's all we want.

So why will you win?

The aforementioned Miss von Bertouch and co. If it was both von Bertouchs no one could stop us.

And why might you lose?

Our slogan is "Nobody steals our THUNDER" which could come back to bite us.

The Thunderbirds first game is/was against the BOP/Waikato Magic.

The Southern Steel

FAQs

Why Steel?

The Southern Steel represents an unbreakable bond forged between two successful sporting regions in Otago and Southland. The strong cutting-edge of the Steel’s name is highlighted with an
explosive energy as a shooting star bursts on to the scene. Of course
the star comes from the south and to celebrate the new beginning a star
has been named after the team. The star sits in the Southern Cross
constellation and can be viewed from anywhere in the Southern
Hemisphere.

But really like pretty much all the teams in this competition a branding company came up with the name.

Of all the New Zealand teams you are the one with the most successful heritage, how's the pressure?

Pfft, this is nothing. As the Sting we won nearly all of these things. Just because there are some Aussies involved now we're supposed to be scared?

All the confidence means you must think you're going to win, why's that?

Daneka Wipiiti is the new Irene van Dyk. And our home court advantage is pretty awesome.

But just in case, why might you lose?

Lose!?! Lose!?! We don't even know what that word means down here! Do you think Donna Loffhagen knew what "lose" meant? No she just got in there and complained when things went wrong because obviously we could never lose!

Right, so what should we wear to the game?

Something warm. It gets a wee bit nippy down here.

The Southern Steel's first match is against the NSW Swifts on Monday April 7 in Sydney.

The Canterbury Tactix

FAQs

The fucking what?!

Um, Tactix. You know, like Tactics but with an 'x'.

Is that the worst name you could think of, or did you do serious market research to come up with a stinker like that? Was it because you hate your fans?

...

Ok, I'm sorry, let's get back to real questions. So why will you win?

An experienced line up of veteran players and strong group of up and coming youngsters. We think we will provide some exciting games.

So why might you lose? Will it be because of your shitty name? Seriously what was wrong with The Flames, that was pretty good.

...

Sorry, sorry. It's just...I'm mean with an 'x'! Even with the 'cs' it's better! I'm mean don't you remember the Kingz?

Anyway what should I wear to the games?

Red and black obviously. We may have a new name but we're Canterbury through and through.

So I can wear my old Flames stuff and maybe start up a "Go Flames" chant?

You are really bitter aren't you

The Tactix first game is against the Northern Mystics in Auckland on Sunday, April 6.

The NSW Swifts

FAQs

What is a Swift?

The swifts are birds superficially similar to swallows but are actually not closely related to those passerine species at all; swifts are in the separate order Apodiformes, which they formerly shared with the hummingbirds. The treeswifts are closely related to the true swifts, but form a separate family, the Hemiprocnidae.

Answer your question?

The logo looks kind of like Superman though?

It’s actually a stylised image of the state of New South Wales.

You don’t think it looks a little like a map of Tazzie? (giggle)

(blank stare)

Nevermind, so, why will you win?

“Netball NSW has undertaken a series of brand and marketing exercises in order to create a team for New South Wales that will propel us to the forefront of this new competition” and we have more blondes than the Queensland team.

And why might you lose?

The majority of voters on our website say we’ll only make the top four.

And what should I wear to the game? Because I was going to wear my State of Origin jersey to show up those stupid Queenslanders but you guys are playing in red, not blue, so it confused me.

We actually have a webpage addressing that very question…but it’s empty at the moment. Just come dressed as a cockroach.

The Swift's first match is against the Southern Steel on Monday April 7 in Sydney.

The Northern mystics

FAQs

Why the mystics?

Apparently..."The name 'Mystics' was derived from the phenomenon that commentators have often observed in sport: that seemingly magical experience that occurs when a team driven by passion, determination and a will to win plays way above the reasoned form of its individual players."

You might say that, I couldn't possibly comment.

Why will they win?

Well, they have some great players, Temepara George, Leana de Bruin, et al.

But mostly, because they have Vilimaina Davu, and she's just f'ing scary

Why will they lose?

mostly, because they have Vilimaina Davu, and she's just f'ing scary.

What should I wear?

In honour of Temepara, something sparkly.

 

The Mystics first game is on Sunday the 6th of April, at home to the Tactix. (Who will lose based on that simply awful name.)