You may think that with all the stuff we've been writing about the new ANZ Championship that we've forgotten about rugby. Like fuck we have!

While we enjoy watching tall, athletic women in short dresses leap about... you know what, I have no idea how I'm going to end this sentence.

Let's just carry on to the 6-word reviews:

• Highlanders v Lions: Lions have one draw, want two

• Brumbies v Chiefs: A tale of two boring cities

• Force v Bulls: Both teams have opportunity to lose

• Hurricanes v Sharks: Michalak on field, Jerry gets cited.

• Waratahs v Blues: Nucifora sees game as job interview

• Cheetahs v Reds: If Reds lose, Mortlock will explode

• Crusaders / Stormers: Have the bye, rediscover potato chips.